Monday, 31 January 2011

goodbye january.


I realize now that this past month completely flew by me. I’ve been mostly in a lazy mood that led me to a pure state of inertia. I guess that it really shows by the lack of posts this month. The true is that after I was done with all the exams and works that I needed to handle, it came down to this. I’m not considering it a bad thing though, since next week I’ll be back in the business. Therefore, second semester classes will start next week, even though I’ll only have to attend to English and Seminary classes. The rest of the spare time will be reserved to my internship that will probably take me two or three days during each week. I’m actually really positive about it since it’ll be a whole new experience that will make me face for the first time the real world and the employment market.
On another topic, I’ve already start receiving letters from my pen pal friends. The first letter that I’ve got was from Bin, a really nice and sympathetic girl from South Korea. Along with her letter, she also sent me a beautiful bookmark with the representation of a Korean wedding. Anyway, I’ll surely do a post about pen pal friends once again, so by that time I’ll probably show you the postcards and the letters.
I’ve wanted to do some posts but as I said, it was like my brain was completely shut down. I’ve still a haul post to do and also some movies and series to comment on. Lately, I’ve been also looking at the things that I used to write. Last night, I spent probably three hours reading all my texts and I could not help to feel a little bit overwhelmed and melancholic about it. I do realize that I need to start writing again since I quitted it almost a year ago. This past year I lost all the strength and all the motivation that I had to write. A year later, I do feel that it’s an urgent need for me to come back to the way it was before. Still, I’m not intending to post anything of it here or somewhere else. I think that I’ll probably repost some of my old texts, even though they are in Portuguese. I’m not going to translate anything though. It wouldn’t be the same thing at all; all the melody and cadence of my words would certainly be lost. Portuguese is an extraordinary language which allows us to recreate the world that we live in the most beautiful and overpowering way. Sadly, I don’t think I can do the same with English.
In brief, this is pretty much what I’ve been up to.
And by the way, goodbye January. Hello February.


without you.

 

Saturday, 15 January 2011

it comes down to this.


This past year was one of the hardest years that I’ve ever faced. To start with, I lost all that I could not stand to lost: the dear ones that I loved. I felt pretty much desperate at different times and most of the times I didn’t had the courage or the confidence to take some steps and make some decisions. Life has been teaching me precious lessons and I’m glad that I’m learning something with it. This past year started the worst way it could start and actually ended the worst way too. Unfortunately, is always by facing the most unpleasant situations that you grow up. I wasn’t an exception. Everything that happened this past year made me grow up so much, at so many different levels. I realize now that I wasn’t ready to face all the situations that I had to deal with. But because of that I feel that I came out stronger than ever, more prepared and confident about myself. Ever you ever felt like nothing more can throw you down? I'm feeling that way now. I know that life will knock me out for sure in the future. And that doesn’t mean that it won’t affect me. But the thing is that now I feel fresh and ready to deal with my life. This year, I want it to be a year of successes, of new challenges, experiences and achievements. And I’ll conquer all the things that are still missing.
This is the road that I’m pursuing; these are the steps that I’m taking.